February 2012
41 posts
“Oh my God, what’s that smell - I am seriously gonna vomit.”
– Who wants to remind the Amazon lady that Shrek, on top of being a hideous Yeti, is also Persian. Trust that I have studied his bathing habits, which I have concluded are none. I have come to realize that Shrek only showers once at the beginning of the week because the cologne mask gets immensely...
3 tags
SUNDAY SUPPERS: THE CALIFORNIA LOVE EDITION
Opting to veer away from the traditional bridal shower, we decided to throw Lola and Ronnie a honeymoon shower - themed around their honeymoon roadtrip around California.
The Mister, never messing around when it comes to food, went for an appetizer type menu, which meant a lot of tedious preparation for him and washing dishes for me.
Hours and hours of “preparation” claimed by my...
TRIAL AND ERROR: PART DEUX
We are now just days away from Lola’s honeymoon shower and after the chocolate cup fiasco, we are on a mission to find a substitute that we can actually conquer. Today we are trying our hand at the infamous chocolate balloon cups.
Had to leave the balloon blowing to The Mister unless I wanted my unborn child to come out and give us a hand as well.
So we melted the chocolate and...
Another day, another substitute assignment … or so I thought. Today I had the pleasure of experiencing severely handicapped middle school children and to say I am exhausted is an understatement. First of all, I was actually mistaken to think that a lesson plan was actually going to be executed. I think the aides looked at me, not only in disgust but disbelief, when I naively asked if the...
“Does he even know what he looks like?”
– Sometimes The Mandated Reporter calls it out in the most simplistic terms - especially when you are content with not owning a mirror in your life. Don’t do it.
With Lola’s honeymoon shower looming in the distance, it’s time to get serious. This means it’s time to take all the Pinterest dreams and make them a reality. First off, chocolate cups …
The tempering, the manual brush on technique, letting it stand for ten minutes and the unveiling …
I think this picture says it all … truly invoking not only fear and...
“That’s it, where’s the Hefty bag?!!”
– I have officially reached my boiling point. Every time I finish cleaning one room, it’s time to begin another one. And after that one is finished, I return to find the initial room in ruins. One would think with so many rooms to clean, I might be speaking of the mansion I live in. WRONG. I...
Something The Mister would appreciate and swears is the difference between a good tip and a seven cent tip. TRUST.
SCENES FROM A DEALERSHIP . . .
I hate car dealerships. I hate how they treat women. I hate how they try to condescend you with illusionary words such as “interest” and “APR”. I hate the way they try to act impressed by your negotiation skills when you are clearly aware of the financial rape that is occurring. And after today, I hate going to dealerships … with The Mister. You would believe that...
“Is there a movie being shown out here?”
– Shrek and his usual passive agressive self not understanding why the majority of the office is at the window watching with concern as the motorcycle cop gets taken away by the ambulance when he just got in a head on collision and went flying through the air. Nevermind that the receptionist, who saw...
ROMANTICAL MOMENTS WITH THE MISTER . . .
The Mister: Gross, my piss stinks like yours.
Me: What? You think my urine smells.
The Mister: I didn't say that!
Me: Yeah you did. I heard you. Then what did you say?
The Mister: I said that I stink like you.
Me: What? Is that supposed to be better?
The Mister: No, I meant to say that I stink.
Me: LIKE ME!!!
If this doesn't scream Valentine's romance, I don't know what does.
“But they really like the campus.”
– I have learned that it was a big mistake to let The Middle Child Syndrome Sister take my children out to USC - especially when she finds it appropriate to walk the streets of South Central at 7:30pm.
Whitney Houston - My Love Is Your Love
A favorite...
JIGGA????
WHITNEY HOUSTON - Dead at 48
O.M.G.
Had a chance to do my first substitution assignment today and I mistakenly thought this would be a breeze considering a) it was at my home school and b) it was fourth grade and I already had worked with most of students at one time or another. I am gonna say that when the teacher’s welcome note and instructions begin with the words “I will be honest with you”, asks for a detailed...
For anyone who knows The Teeny Little Super Guy, these Mini Pop Tarts are impertive to his survival in the world of allergies. Gonna definitely try these.
l shower dessert ideas. Let’s see how the “NAILED IT” edition comes out.
FREE AT LAST . . .
The Good News: It’s 1:30 p.m. and I am officially free. The Mister has taken the boys for some Super Bowl bonding and I now have time to get down to some home improvement business. The Bad News: The Mister is alone with my children. One hair in the wrong place on these children and hell knows no wrath like that of a mother who suspects neglect. Equally bad, that I find joy in being alone to...
“You can do whatever the F@#$ you want!”
– It’s almost like deja vu, but it’s not Lola this time. It’s The Middle Child Syndrome Sister slapping her Mac Book shut and storming out of the room when simply asked what her contribution is to the honeymoon shower, outside of shutting down each of my appetizer ideas.
A DAY IN THE LIFE . . .
Who needs a Flashback Friday, when you can get a glimpse at what I looked like at the clinic this morning. The eyes rolling into the back of my head, the barely audible jibber jabber, falling straight backward - yeah, that’s about right.
CONVERSATIONS WITH THE MISTER
Conversations with The Mister can be rare and far between … at least civil ones. How we ended up in a heated discussion about great football players is even more rare - especially since I could care less for football. But if anything spurs passion in The Mister, I have found it to be Bo Jackson because Bo knows … .
apparently everything, including my own heart. Who knew this fool...
“Has anybody ever died during a tonsillectomy?”
– I am taking it that you will not find a single Get Well card being sent to Shrek as he goes into tonsillectomy surgery this morning. In fact, most are hoping for a super painful procedure or if we are lucky, a life threatening infection. At the very least, it will keep him out of my face for a few...