December 2011
33 posts
“At least you have a mom!!”
– Only The Mandated Reporter can ruin all the joy in making fun of your own mom!
CHRISTMAS 2011 . . .
Round 1: Christmas Eve dinner with the in-laws. The Mister truly outdid himself with this almond pear tart. I am not a pear person nor a baked fruit person, but this is quite possibly one of the best desserts he has ever made.
After a record breaking opening of the gifts thanks to the fact that the mother-in-law couldn’t bother the clean up the massive dog hair knowing our allergy...
PRE-CHRISTMAS QUALITY . . .
Got together with the family tonight to celebrate my aunt’s too-close-to-Christmas birthday. We had some from-the-heart toasts …
Some get-in-my-belly traditional Colombian food …
And some classic familial discussions … that went from G-rated to inappropriate way too abruptly. The round table topic was “secrets to a solid marriage”. The answers ranged...
FLASHBACK FRIDAYS
Not quite sure how I managed to squeeze in a Flashback Friday dedication, but you can’t help it when you recall what last year looked like. If searching through trash for accidently dumped Invisilign braces doesn’t conjure holiday memories, I don’t know what does. Merry Christmas.
HAPPY FRIDAY!
Woke up this morning wanting to make a healthy, balanced breakfast. Went to look for eggs and found out The Mister jacked them all for his baking. Luckily, he did save me this gem: a tupperware full of egg yolks. Mmm, pure cholesterol!! Well, here’s to my quest for a coronary embolism during this holiday season.
“To make a long story longer …”
– When these kind of nonsensical sayings are being dropped in conversation, you know you must be talking to The Mandated Reporter.
“DANCE, SUCKA, DANCE.”
– The newly official way to close an email when trash-talking on The Modest Asian.
“I left the gift tag blank - you know, just in case, you want to re-gift it.”
– It’s a freakin’ cupcake folks. Do you think your homemade cupcake is that worthy of a re-gift? Or do you think I am that ghetto that I would re-gift such a thing? You can always count on the Constantly-Seeking-Attention-Female-Co-Worker to drop in her awkward, back-handed commentary at...
If an 8 year old tsunami survivor can travel six... →
How I feel when dealing with The Modest Asian … TRUST!!
“A woman with a life growing inside of her cannot sustain on a freakin’...”
– Glamourous as Burke Williams sounds, I am just keeping it real.
“A boob infection, a rash, a cold, not wanting to expose your baby to the ghetto...”
– T-Bone running down the usual suspects as to excuses The Modest Asian likes to throw out when she first demands a get-together only to be the one who flakes out. Yup, it smells like the girls are coming together for the holidays.
“Merlin?”
– My name has had its share of butcherings, but this may be a new low.
Finally managed to set up the photo printer/scanner I purchased two years ago, which means Flashback Fridays are about to get a little more interesting and a lot more dangerous.
“It’s like going to the DMV”
– Comparisons heard around the office as we head over to our Christmas luncheon. Always a good sign of great things to come.
She-Devil Co-Worker: Right after the Christmas lunch, I have to go home for my appointment with the security company.
Me: Are you getting an alarm for your house?
She-Devil Co-Worker: Yeah.
Me: Why, do you live in the ghetto?
She-Devil Co-Worker: No, my honey wants to make sure I'm safe at home when I'm pregnant.
Me: Are you pregnant?
She Devil Co-Worker: Not yet.
Challenge #1 - Controlling the big smile that has now formed on my face. Challenge #2 - Not making eye contact so she can't catch how far back my eyes are rolling into my head. Challenge #3 - Bracing myself for the fact that in a half hour, I will be spending my lunch listening to more of this nonsense.
Done with finals, done with student teaching and with a week to get it together, The Teeny Little Super Guy’s “SOUP”er Mario Bros. 2 party was in full effect. Soup being the main attraction, it also meant that for the last three days, The Mister was in full kitchen destruction mode. The eggplant is roasted; the butternut squash cut …
The 8-bit obsession is complete...
FLASHBACK FRIDAYS . . .
In honor of The Teeny Little Super Guy’s 7th birthday, I fondly take a look back at the days when he was really my teeny little guy. Oh son, don’t worry - my memories of you will never fade because your mom will always keep you her baby. Even if it means buzz cutting your hair until you are seventeen.
“You should know, I am a woman of great integrity.”
– Try nodding back with a straight face as your mother-in-law blurts out that lie in conversation.
Mom: Did you tell your teacher that you were pregnant?
Me: No, I figured the internship is over in another week - what's the point?
Mom: You should have told them you're pregnant.
Me: What for?
Mom: At least it would have been a better than them just thinking you're fat.
Is it funny or scary how my mom can laugh so hard at her own "jokes" even as she stares at my unflinching straight face?